This story is as good as any to start off with. It's entirely work safe... Oh, who am I kidding, the way I'm going to tell it isn't going to be all that work safe, so, as a courtesy, I'll put it behind a cut.
This is a story from my time as security chief. As such, it starts the same way as almost all of my other stories...
So, I was getting off the elevator, when I was approached by two young (Probably 13 year old...) girls. They asked me if I was with security, (Funny, I thought the "HOLY SHIT THAT'S GREEN!" t-shirt would have given it away.) and told me that they had a problem. Apparently, these two girls had a friend. That friend told them that she was ditching them to go hang out in the room of one of the cosplay winners... You can see how this would be all kinds of bad, right?
I told them I would do what I could to find their friend and started walking them to the con floor in an ultimately vain attempt to find her. As we were walking, the following exchange occured:
(J=me G=whichever of the girls was speaking at the time.)
J: Okay, so what does your friend look like?
G: Well she's about our height, sort of skinny and she's got long brown hair...
J: (knowing that this describes about a quarter of our attendee base.) Oooohkay... Was she wearing anyting distinctive?
G: Well, she's wearing this blue hat. Y'know, it looks like something you'd buy at the Gap, but she got it at the Limited.
J: (Apparently the only one who notices that he's the kind of guy who wouldn't set a fucking SHOE in the gap unless coerced.) Um, can you draw the hat for me?
We get to an info desk where the girl draws me the hat... Well sort of, you see, what she draws looks like a baseball cap (Which really doesn't look at all like the hat the kid was wearing, but, I'll get to that later.) I dropped the kids off with a staffer with instructions to keep them in the lobby until I could find their friend and then went marching off with visions of the opening of CSI playing in full color in my mind. My worst case scenario was that I'd not find the girl until the next day when housekeeping would find her in a bathroom shower, her organs removed and, most likely, eaten.
My steps to find the girl are, at the time:
1) Find the cosplay coordinator.
2) Get a list of the cosplay winners names.
3) Get a coordinating list of room numbers from the hotel.
4) Go door to goddamn door until I find the kid so I can kill her myself.
After a few, fruitless minutes of trying to find the cosplay coordinator over the radio (Not to mention that I had the wrong name.) I went to the convention green room, where I was corrected on the name and told that it was still no dice since the coordinator was at dinner. One sort of frantic phonecall later and I had a promise from one of the cosplay judges (Who was also at dinner) to get me a list of the winners. In frustration and more than a little bit of desperation, I went back to the con floor to do some more looking...
And once again, as I step out of the elevator, a freaked out STAFFER comes up to me saying that the concert, Which was being held in the larger part of the venue, the one we SUPPOSEDLY had until eleven (It was about 10:45) was getting kicked out of the venue and a vast sea of fanboys and girls were going to storm an info desk table so the person giving the concert (I'm not naming names.) could do autograph signing and merch sales... Oy.
The security team leapt into action with little or no prodding. They established line control just as our performer, walking like the pied piper of fucking Hamlin comes strutting through the main thoroughfare, a sea of mindless, otaku humanity, surging behind him. I stopped at the doorway of security and watched as the procession continued. Somewhere in the flow a girl drifted by, she was wearing a blue, newsboy's cap I guess you'd call it....
Blue hat like the one that was (sort of) drawn for me by those two girls...
Shit! That's her!
In the middle of the flood one voice rang out, loud and kind of angry. "You, the girl in the blue hat! Stop where you are please, I need to speak to you!" The girl stopped DEAD in her tracks. She winced and then turned to face her accoster, me. "You, young lady are in a lot of trouble. Your friends have been trying for quite some time, to find you." The girl looked like I had just shown her a knife or something. She tried to escape, but seeing no exits, she tried to talk her way out of it. "Really, all I did was tell them I was going to the concert I don't see why..." She rambled on for another minute or so about how all of this was SO unfair. I stopped listening after about the first ten seconds. I told her to wait in the security and minions office and posted my second in command and the head of minions to watch her, since they were both large men and I was sure she'd try to bolt. I tell you, I literally skipped to the lobby to tell the two girls I had found their friend. Of course, yb the time I got there, one of them had vanished, to be replaced by a middle aged woman.
The exchange went something like:
J=Me M=Mommy dearest)
J: I found her, she's in security now.
(It is at this point that the woman rose, slowly, like some beast form some forgotten pit. As she opened her mouth, I could see lightning flashing in her eyes and I could hear the crackle of unnaturally icy flames as she said...)
M: Good, Take me to my daughter.
Oh, shit, this is mom, and she is PISSED! I immediately led them to the security office where we found the girl being berated by the minions chair. As soon as he saw the mother, he apologized, but she stopped him, saying, "Oh no, you go right ahead, you're doing fine." I left at that point, but apparently, the minions head yelled at the girl for another few minutes and then the kid got escotred to her room by one irritated mother and a panicked anf furious friend that laid into the girl in the blue hat on the way to the elevator.
I love it when situations turn out well for me.
Welcome to true tales of convention terror, If you have a story to tell, please, feel free.